Misfits not only know a great deal about alternate and varied definitions of suffering, but misfits are also capable of alchemizing suffering, changing the energy from one form to another. When her birth-death first happened, here is what I did: I lost my marbles. At the hospital I could feel myself disintegrating a molecule at a time, but I didn’t say anything. Back to some animal past of pure instinct and wariness of everything around me.
So let me tell you a different suffering story that cannot be corralled by a culture that asks you to process your suffering in ways that make you a good citizen in an ever-churning economy of productive people. I am not the only person who has experienced the suffering that comes from such a loss. I drank the water they gave me, though I didn’t eat the food. The hair on my legs and arms grew long, like white fur, which sometimes happens when someone stops eating.
I “passed” in every sphere of regular life I entered, but I entered those spheres less and less and spent more and more time under the overpass. I had a notebook in which I wrote pages and pages of crazy lady gibberish, or seeming gibberish. Inside the books I again saw stories that I recognized, because, well, literature is filled with characters whose lives are so broken they can barely breathe. Inside that notebook filled with what may have looked to an outside observer like strange hieroglyphics, in between the lines, there were glimpses of actual stories.
The stories were about strange girls filled with rage or love or art that came shooting out of them, almost violently.
And as I stepped back toward the world, I saw that the lies I’d been telling weren’t lies at all.
Essays About Human Suffering Maryland Essay
They were precise fictions about living inside a woman’s body and the journey I’d just made to the bottom of an ocean, the journey to death and back.It also points towards the impermanent nature of reality, namely pleasure.Another aspect of duhkha besides the pursuit of pleasure is the aversion of pain and suffering.I feel kindred with fellow sufferers, not because they suffer, and not because of some absurd vortex of victimhood camaraderie, and not because sufferers are in a state of grace, but because they go on, they endure.And because sometimes, the sufferer reinvents themself — and this kind of reinvention is what misfits are so good at.In this sense, to be a misfit means to be willing to dive into the waters of one’s life, swim to the wreckage at the bottom, and bring something back to the surface. When I tell you that literature and writing have saved my life, perhaps you can believe me when I say they came into my body and lodged in the space that my daughter left open. We misfits are the ones with the ability to enter grief. If you are one of those people who has the ability to make it down to the bottom of the ocean, the ability to swim the dark waters without fear, the astonishing ability to move through life’s worst crucibles and not die, then you also have the ability to bring something back to the surface that helps others in a way that they cannot achieve themselves. The mid term for a free online course called Buddhism and Modern Psychology was due today and it consisted on writing an essay, which I decided to share here.All creativity has destruction as its other, just like the beyond beautiful dead infant I held in my arms.What I saw in literary books was a possible path from suffering and self-destruction to self-expression. Twenty years later, the quality of the suffering took shape and form on pages.