Better: Through a series of student interviews, I found that Kennedy High School's antibullying program was ineffective.
In order to address issues of conflict between students, I argue that Kennedy High School should embrace policies outlined by the California Department of Education (2010).
This claim is the type of claim that might be appropriate for the conclusion of a paper, but in the beginning of the paper, the student is left with nowhere to go. If there are "always alternatives" to the problem the student is identifying, then why bother developing a paper around that claim?
Ideally, a thesis statement should be complex enough to explore over the length of the entire paper.
is the brief articulation of your paper's central argument and purpose.
You might hear it referred to as simply a "thesis." Every scholarly paper should have a thesis statement, and strong thesis statements are concise, specific, and arguable.You can see here that the student has simply stated the paper's assignment, without articulating specifically how he or she will address it.The student can correct this error simply by phrasing the thesis statement as a specific answer to the assignment prompt.An original and copyright research paper conducted by my group implementing on saving the environment by minimizing the waste of peels from the banana making it into a food wrapper which is edible and can be cooked. more An original and copyright research paper conducted by my group implementing on saving the environment by minimizing the waste of peels from the banana making it into a food wrapper which is edible and can be cooked.This also shows the difference of the specific bananas used.The student needs to come up with a more arguable claim, and probably a narrower one; remember that a short paper needs a more focused topic than a dissertation.Better: Roderick's (2009) theory of participatory leadership is particularly appropriate to nurse educators working within the emergency medicine field, where students benefit most from collegial and kinesthetic learning.Notice in the revision that the field is now clear (ecology), and the language has been made much more field-specific ("conservation methods," "green organizations"), so the reader is able to see concretely the ideas the student is communicating.This sample thesis statement makes a claim, but it is not a claim that will sustain extended discussion.The student's paper can now proceed, providing specific pieces of evidence to support the arguable central claim.There are many words in this sentence that may be buzzwords in the student's field or key terms taken from other texts, but together they do not communicate a clear, specific meaning.